Heart Shards
by randomlydrabbling
Summary: [AU] In a world where hearts can be carved from obsidian, made from flames, or be tough, sinewy muscle that anyone can see, two children try navigating the ups and downs of friendship and sorrow. Or, Kakashi's heart breaks, and Gai's heart is cut open.


Kakashi sees his heart for the first time when he's still young. His father had approached him, a beautifully carved box in his hands. The family seal is there, along with various animal figures- dogs, turtles, dragons… "Kakashi- do you know where our hearts are?"

"Out." Kakashi placed a small hand over where his heart was located once-upon a time.

"This is your heart Kakashi." Sakumo had opened the box then, and let Kakashi take a peek.

It looked as if it was carved from solid obsidian- the black, dark stone gleamed in the light. The sharp edges cut into the wood of the box. Kakashi had squinted at it, attempting to peer into the depths. For a speck of color other then the pure black that dyed his heart.

"It matches mine, want to see?"

The two Hatake's stared down at the black obisidion hearts. Kakashi cautiously reached out for his, knowing full well he might be cut by the sharp edges. As he cautiously touched his heart, Kakashi could feel the sensation backwash into him- a warm, soft feeling that barely registered.

Underneath his fingers, the black stone pulsed, a slow, steady, barely noticeable beat that told Kakashi he was indeed alive. "Doesn't that mean our hearts are the strongest around?"

Kakashi didn't see Sakumo stroke a hairline crack down his own heart, carefully and cautiously trying to keep the heart from splitting any further. "No Kakashi- There's very few hearts that are truly strong."

The words didn't make sense until Kakashi was standing before his fathers dead, broken body, the shattered remains of his fathers heart scattered across the floor. Distantly, Kakashi could hear his own heart breaking, splintering with a loud, single crack.

* * *

Gai wouldn't know what possessed him to pick up the shattered heart piece. When he had come to his rivals home to… he didn't even know what. Kakashi was clamming up with his dad's fall from disgrace. So Gai wanted to show that even with everyone thinking the Hatake's were disgraceful and losers, it wasn't going to deter him from challenging Kakashi.

He wasn't… Gai knew that challenging someone to a battle on the eve of their fathers death was hardly a good idea. He had ears- he knew social conventions even if he normally chose to ignore them in hopes of goading Kakashi out of his shell. Even if the only way he could think of being friends was by goading, and fighting, and contests.

But this heart shard abandoned carelessly outside in his path… Gai had scooped it up with the intent of bringing it to the funeral even if he had no place there. Every shard should be buried.

The shard had pulsed between his fingers. The beat of a still-living heart, broken. Gai had stopped then, regarding the shard- It was probably a piece of Kakashi's, but what was it doing… out here? In Gai's usual challenge spot?

Gai wrapped the edge of his bandage around the shattered heart piece. His bandages were always dirty and rough- but they were better then bare fingertips. Bare fingertips implied intimacy that Gai knew he didn't have. So Gai wrapped it tight and snug in his bandages, and took it home.

Nobody needed to know of Kakashi's shattered heart. Nobody at all.

His heart box was a tin box, the walls and bottom thin enough that anyone could crush it with a little bit of effort. If you placed fingertips along the metal, you could feel his heartbeat reverberating along the metal, tipping anyone off that a heart was stored in here. Gai was hoping when he finally graduated from the academy he might actually have enough money to buy a real box that wouldn't alert enemies searching through his belongings that a heart was stored within.

Ahhh, why was he getting wound up about this anyways? Gai carefully placed the piece of heart into the box. He would give it back to Kakashi after the funeral, when he could get his rival alone. Until then-

"Haaa- I wonder what training regimen I should do this time."

As cold as it may be, life went on, and Gai didn't have the luxury of lying around. If he slacked off for even a minute, he could be kicked out of the academy. Kakashi might be a genius who took his hard work seriously, but Gai didn't have that genius ability to fall back on. He needed to continue practicing and training, and after the funeral, he would return to his normal spot and wait to see if Kakashi came by.

So it was, several hours later, Gai found himself standing at his usual challenge spot to Kakashi. The metal box was quietly tucked into his jacket he had slung over one arm. He didn't want to show off the box- not when hearts could be used against you in so many different ways.

The cool night air was really beginning to set in, and Gai stamped down on a shiver before he could stop himself. The sound of wandering footsteps made him perk up- "Kakashi."

Kakashi wandered down the street, hands in pockets, and eyes wide and not quite focusing. Gai swallowed hard- and boomed out, "Hello Kakashi!"

Kakashi stopped, regarding Gai like he had never seen him before. Gai didn't smile. "I'm sorry-"

Kakashi interrupted him, "Another challenge?"

Gai paused, trying to read into his rivals actions. Kakashi repeated, softly, eyes boring into Gai, "Here for a another useless challenge?"

That hurt more then expected. But Gai plastered on his biggest smile- "Certainly! A youthful battle full of hot-running blood should-"

"Training field five, ten minutes." Kakashi vanished before Gai could say anything more. Ten minutes would be just long enough for Gai to get over there as long as he was careful not to get caught. Gai hesitated, glancing at his coat and the broken shard of heart he had. Did he go after Kakashi? Or did he get both his and Kakashi's heart somewhere safe?

Gai sighed- he would just have to trust the heart piece would be safe, and take off after Kakashi.

* * *

"Gai? Is that you Gai? Are you okay? What are you doing out here-" Gai blinked hazy eyes up at the sky, trying to focus beyond the aching, pounding body. Every muscle hurt, and Kakashi didn't seem to of been out of breath when he had walked away with bloody knuckles.

Ah, wait, the voice that was swimming in and out of his ears. He should probably answer that soft voice that seemed slightly familiar. "I'm fine!" He croaked, willing his body to believe it, "Just catching my breath!"

"What are you doing out here so late-"

"Training!" Gai instantly replied, forcing one hand to make his usual good-guy thumbs up. "Unless I train every day, I will grow weaker, and the youthful spirit that burns within us all might extinguish itself-"

As Gai rambled on, he tested out his limbs. One leg was probably broken, and his insides felt off and funny, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle on his own. Gai put his thoughts to the test, when he attempted to leap to his feet with a loud, "In fact- I must complete my next set of laps-"

He barely managed to keep to his feet, but he was pretty sure that he wasn't fooling the Jounin in front of him who was watching him with suspicious eyes. Now that he thought about it, he still couldn't place who this person was before him. "Who are you?"

The Jounin's jaw dropped at the blunt question, before a blond head shook ruefully. "I see that you are the same as always! But who I am isn't important- Gai, who did this too you?"

"I told you! I was training!" Gai rolled his shoulders, feeling sore muscles protest. Now that he was on his feet and moving, his body's complaints were fading. Sore, aching muscles were a normal complaint. "My youthful disposition caused me to train late into the night! But now that I realize what time it is, I shall return home and rest so that I may be fully prepared for tomorrow!"

His eyes shot towards where his box lay, wrapped in his jacket. It was surprising that it hadn't been touched in the fierce battle, but Gai had done his level best to keep the box from harm. But there was a rock… Well, if it had crushed the box, then Gai would be dead, so no need to worry too much.

"Gai." The blonde said seriously, "The only place you're going is too the hospital."

Gai blinked- hospital? "I'm not that seriously injured! Look at me, I can still do a backflip-"

He would've, too, if the Jounin hadn't caught him at the last second, careful not to harm despite the obviously rushed charge. "Yes, you are injured, and no, you can't do a backflip. Knowing you they'll probably release you pretty quickly, so don't worry about it, okay?"

Gai squirmed weakly, "But, I stood up. That means I'm fine!"

The blonde sent him a rather disbelieving, 'are-you-crazy' look that had dogged his footsteps since he was even more youthful. "I'll let the doctors figure that out."

The blond man scooped up the jacket, freezing as his fingers touched the box. Gai put on his best smile- "Gai, I'm not going to ask you this again: Why were you out here?"

"It was training of a most youthful sort! Full of vigorous passion!" Gai chanted back, like a mantra. "Like the burning of a flame, my heart could not be quelled!"

"I wouldn't be surprised if your heart was a flame," The blonde muttered, tucking the box further into the coat and refraining from feeling the steady pulse against his fingertips. Gai accepted the precious bundle, suddenly aware of the fact that his fingers couldn't quite curl into a proper fist. Maybe it was good he was going to the hospital…

Gai passed out.

It was a week before he was released from the hospital.

* * *

"Let go of me scum."

The words dug into Gai's heart like a knife. He could feel his heart being cut open by the harsh words, bleeding into its tin box. It hurt. It hurt more then Gai expected, tears and snot dribbling down his face. Kakashi was supposed to be his friend. They were friends, weren't they?

But it hurt so, so much, his heart aching and wounded. "I'm not scum!" Gai sobbed into the dirt, body aching too much to get up. Fingers curled tighter around a ankle. "I'm not scum!"

Kakashi dragged his ankle away, leaving Gai sobbing in the dirt, helplessly and painfully. "I'm not scum!" He repeated to the ground, to the empty air. To _himself_.

"I'm not useless, I'm not scum, I can be better! I'm not… I'm not scum!"

His heart constricted around the cold shard of… Gai didn't even know what. He didn't want to go home and look in his box.

But after he dragged himself home, and looked inside the box, he found a shallow pool of blood staining the bandages around Kakashi's heart piece, and his own heart looking as if it could split in half under the slightest pressure. The open, gaping wound of too harsh words bled endlessly into the box. Gai carefully picked his heart up, not minding the blood that stained his fingers.

His heart was made of sinew and muscle. When his caretakers had first handed him the cheap metal box his heart was weak- already scarred. He doesn't remember what caused the first scar- just his pride in his retrieval of his heart and his determination to make it big and strong.

It grew with him, fluttering uncertainly and not quite big enough for the amount of energy Gai wants it too have. But he tries anyways, his exertion helping it too grown bigger, tougher- but it was still so delicate as today's words had shown him.

Gai glanced at the cloth-wrapped shard, wondering distantly if he should just chuck it out the window. If anyone would blame him for giving up. But… but… _I've never given up before._

Gai fished the bloodstained wrappings from the box, setting it to the side. For the next half hour, he scrubbed and cleaned the box, washing away the blood, and trying to figure out what to do next. Did he face Kakashi again? Could his heart take another blow like that? Did he really want to put himself in that position? There weren't any documented cases of dying from somebody's words, but it sure had hurt.

"Since when have I been afraid of pain?!" Gai's yell took himself by surprise. Thoughts of giving back Kakashi's heart piece flew out of his mind. If Kakashi wanted it back, he'd have to come and retrieve it. It was his own way of striking back- if Kakashi wanted to cut open his heart, then Gai would keep the shard. "I shall not stop! My heart will heal and I will grow stronger! I'm not scum! I'm going to be Konoha's strongest ninja and I'm going to beat Kakashi! And I won't stop until I can get him to smile!"

The flimsy tin box crumpled slightly under his fervent fingers. "Just you wait Kakashi! I'll catch up and surpass you one day!"

* * *

_a/n: Not sure if I'll continue, but if I do, then you all can be sure it'll be Kakashi/Gai. And a lot more bad metaphors. Anyways, I hope y'all liked, and please leave a review if you did._


End file.
